"The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else's highlight reel." Steve Furtick
I believe that the BKTY movement resonates strongly with people who are like me. It does stand to reason that the work I find most authentic is the sharing of a journey I've traveled and now return to share my healing balm with others who face similar battles. We are people who have become temporarily stuck in our minds, in the ideas and images we've created to aspire to. Our reasoning is often very legitimate since the tender truth of who we are was disregarded or taken advantage of in the past. Enough mistakes and disappointments trying to survive as a rabbit in a hound’s world and we began creating a new idea to mold ourselves in the image of; a smarter, faster, stronger version of ourselves.
I found one major problem with such a strategy- I was unconsciously comparing my 'behind-the scenes' state to other people’s 'highlight reel' which was both unrealistic and unfair to me. This is where we heady folks get our ideas of perfection which we actually believe to be universal. And we are so hard on ourselves, we want so badly to succeed, to be happy, to finally 'get it right', that we never stop to notice that other people aren't really so different or better, we just happen to be watching the onstage version of their lives. When I did this, I was in a fog of critical thinking so I couldn't be fully present in my own life nor could I see the overwhelmingly positive ways I was often affecting other human beings. While the person I’d become was already enough, I was watching a composite of other people’s highlight reels in my mind and trying desperately to measure up to it.
So our new judgment becomes, "I am not good enough" and the new evidence is our inability to replicate those highlight reels. That's when it is literally time to get real. Not as a humorous Three Stooges slap in the face but a quiet, sobering, paying attention to what's really occurring before us rather than the show in our minds. The next time “Am I good enough?” arises, see how desperate everyone is to 'get it right', see how afraid everybody is to admit that they feel unsafe or weak, to reveal their deepest fears. Just like us. Pay attention to the way some people seem to appreciate your presence in their lives even when you aren't doing anything you think of as special. Just take your hands off the oars for a day or two and let your boat float downstream. See if someone pretty cool doesn't already emerge as you without the heady ideal to strive towards. Just see who you are without that judgment, because if you're like me it’s probably been quite a while since you lived without that thought and it becomes pretty hard to remember who you really are. So, here's a nudge; the answer really is YES!!!
Rev. SalaFrom my heart to yours,
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