Not Enough. Not Doing Enough. Don't have Enough. Say What??

Somebody raise both hands and post a comment if you can find yourself in this story.  I'll call myself out first...

Recently I've been writing a book in all of my "spare" time.  My writing group calls it a literary memoir and, in order for my story to add value to other people's lives, the chapters of the book have to really delve into some of the hard experiences in my past.  It’s important stuff to include since the purpose of the book is really to share the powerful healing and transformation I experienced.  Sounds pretty good, right?

Well, the problem arose when I traveled back to times when I felt helpless, depressed or just plain crazy and I had a very hard time coming back and getting grounded again.  I don't usually live in my story because it isn't who I am.  Although I was led to share my transformation and lessons of discovery, I wasn’t fully prepared for the resurgence of self-criticism that came over me during the writing process.  Before I knew it, my writing came to a complete standstill.  Then I believed that I had so many other things to do besides writing the book.  I busied myself with being busy while disappointment began to pile right on top of the secret judgment that had already been growing in my mind.

What a whirlwind I created in a matter of hours!  Outwardly, very little time had passed but my internal world was gridlocked. Fortunately, this effect of my book writing process called me to practice what I preach in a new way- a way I otherwise would not have known that I needed.  Instead of the vast transformations of the past, this was more like maintenance work in the garden of my mind.  I was called to go within until I finally caught the weed.   My weed was the thought, "I am not enough.  I am not doing enough.  I don't have enough."  That was it!

There I was sitting in a silent meditation when I caught it and my eyes flew open instantly as I drew a gasping breath.  Wow.  That's a huge weed.  Have I been listening to that?  Believing that in any way shape or form? No wonder I was so stuck and creatively blocked all of a sudden!  I returned to alignment quicker than before but I was reminded of a huge lesson in that recent experience.

We are never done with the maintenance and care of our minds.

We are never done with the maintenance and care of our bodies.

We are never done with the work of staying true and aligned with our souls.

As long as the words, "I am not enough. I am not doing enough. or I don't have enough." resonate with us in any way, shape or form, we are not done Realizing the Truth of our Being.

Limitless.  Formless. Bountiful. Beautiful. Essence.  This is what I truly am.  This is what you truly are.  Let's remember together.  BKTY-  Now that's the movement.

Don't leave me hanging folks.  Post your comments.  That's the way we grow the truth, the message and the movement!

From my heart to yours,

Rev. Sala